Da Red Room

I've fallen...and I can't get up! (Diggin in my crates pIII)

Today we take a trip down memory lane. We're going back...way back...back to one of my most embarassing moments.


Quite a few years ago I was out in Brooklyn helping a friend with some things. At that time I lived in Jersey and actually took public transportation to get there. It was late Saturday afternoon and I wanted to start my long journey back to Jersey.

As was usually the case with NY trains, there were weekend schedule changes. As a result I would have to take the local train in the oppisite direction, then catch the express going my way. As I approached the station I could hear the train arriving. I quickly found my metrocard as I ran down the stairs. It was one of those unmanned entrances with just a gate for you to swipe your card and walk through...no token booth.

I quickly swiped my metrocard only to see "Please swipe again"

I repeated again and again...no luck.

Another person comes down the stairs just as the train pulls into the station. He was anxious to get in and catch the train. I let him give the turnstyle a try..and it works! First swipe it works for him. Dammit! What's wrong with my card?

So I try again and see the most magnificent words a person could see when the train is right there: GO

YES!!!

I see people starting to head towards the gate, leaving the station. I turn the corner to realize the train is like half the size of a normal train. It's sitting in the middle of the platform...like 50 or 60 feet away from me.

My mind races. It's a Saturday afternoon. It will be like a half hour before another train comes. I would have to sit in this hot ass station for a half hour....not gonna happen.

I run. Correction, I don't run, I sprint. Like Carl Lewis. People are moving outta my way so I can make it. The doors are still open but I hear the conductor announcing the next stop. I'm close now...10 feet away.

[Gasp]

Splat.

I fall.

Not in that "oops-I-scraped-my-knee" kinda way. More like I lost my balance and experienced it in slow motion kinda way. But that's not the embarassing part. Of course not.

As I lay there I see my CD, which has popped out of my CD Player, rolling along the platform. As I lay there sprawled on the smelly-pissy-dirty-chewing gum-stained ground I hear people.

Apparently I fell and skidded on the concrete platform right in front of the subway door. I hit hard and I let forth an involuntary yet necessary "Uhmp!" as flesh met pavement. I have an audience.

Where are my glasses? Oh...there they are...on the ground 5 feet from my face. I thought that only happened on Scooby-Doo. Just as my embarassment starts to take root and fester, the train conductor hits the "doors closing" sound a few times...I guess he took pity on me. He's probably laughing in his little booth.

I made the train that afternoon but it cost me more than $1.50. It gave me one of my most embarassing moments ever.

posted by Red @ 9:10 AM