me Me ME!
I've reached that place in my life...
...where I'm happy with me
...where I realize some friendships have run their course
...where I stop living to make others happy and focus on me
...where I have done things I never thought possible and still want more
...where I live for today and hope for tomorrow
...where I exude inner happiness when I smile
...where I can listen
...where I can be
That is my gift to me.
A Blog for Mama
AKA: Blurry memories from a twisted mind
It's amazing how much of us is formed in those early years. It seems like only yesterday we were zooming around town in a beat up Nova. I think back on what a sponge I was...how I was always wanting to get into new things. You nurtured my curiousity. Remember when you made the best steak ever (when we weren't supposed to be eating meat)? To this day, no steak has EVER compared to those few forbidden morsels of chuck round.
I remember when you gave me a $100 bill and sent me to the supermarket on the corner. I felt amazing because I had so much money in the secret pocket of my Kangaroo sneakers. I felt so special I smiled all the way to the store and back...and gave you your correct change.
We played video games together. Did you let me win at River Raid or was I just that good? The things we did together made me feel so loved. Even if it was just taking the subway. The sliding platform at Union Square were scary and awe-inspiring at the same time. I used to have bad dreams about getting swept off the platform when the train sped into the station. But I knew I was safe because you had my hand.
You took me with you when we moved. I felt so special...like I won a contest and got to move to the new apartment with
mommy. Remember my Sesame Street record player? It had Big Bird's greatest hits like "Sign (your a friend of mine)" and "I've got 2 eyes." Ooooooh...good stuff. That's probably why I DJ now...beacuse of you.
The same woman who took me to a Star Trek convention(where I picked up my 1st comic book). I still read them today.
The VIC 20 computer...I became an IT guy. Then we came home and our place was broken into. They took my calculator! That was all I cared about. The Bastards!!
You had a house party and made tapes. I still have them and sometimes listen in my car. Your friend left his turntables at our place and I couldn't stop playing with them. I just think back on all the good times we had, even when things weren't always great: Mets 1986 playoffs, Dancing to "Object of my Desire", learning to drive (OK...maybe not so much fun), Picasso, Benson, summer school, BBR, Boy's Club, L.E.S.C.S, Mattie, Magneto, MENSA, Visiting you at work, not getting a bike,...
I think back on all that you've taught and shown me...by your actions, by your persistence, by simply being.
You've taught me to follow my path.
You've shown me unconditional love.
You made me the man I am today.
So on those days when life's twists and turns change and distort the lens through which I see the world, I can always reflect back on you and your love and those places and times when everything was right and I was at peace.
I wanted you to know that.
I love you
Creating Change...
...One blog entry at a time.
I got tired of bumbling through my life letting things fall into place. I finally put some goals on paper and made them happen. It was a bit of a shock to see how much shit I could accomplish if I let myself go. Now I have to figure out what to do next before I fall back into complacency.
#8 on my 50 things to do by age 50:
Will it happen? Maybe....maybe not. It won't be because I didn't try.
-Red
"So let it be written. So let it be done."
The Nod
I was on my way to the train and came across a brother who appeared to be in his late 60's going for a walk. I found this strange because I rarely see
any people of color in my neighborhood. I said "Good morning."
"Hey there young Fella!" he replied. And I felt good. Waaaay deep down in my soul I felt like he put out a welcome mat.
When I arrive in the city, I see lots of brothers. More often than not, if there is eye contact, there is
The Nod. It is the ubiquitous "what's up" nod we give each other. I don't know how old I was when I realized I knew this...or when I realized it's power. As I grow older I wonder if it is considered 'old school.' If it is old school then so am I.
Damn proud of it.
I've seen it in cities across the country. North, South, West...I went to Europe and didn't see it. I felt strange without it. I guess they don't have it because our struggle was not their struggle. That's when I realied what
The Nod is.
Recognition. Unspoken brotherhood. "I see you, you exist and have meaning and value and worth." We are one and go through the same struggle.
So this is a shout out to
The Nod.
Red's Recepies for being ghetto - PFR
That's right
Pork Fried RiceIngriedientsLeftover white rice
Leftover Pork chop, piece of chicken, steak or sandwich meat
Soy sauce
1 teaspoon cooking oil (old bacon or chicken grease recommended)
Frozen mixed vegatables (optional)
Prep Time - 15 mins
Cook Time - 10 mins
Difficulty - Easy
DirectionsprepPick up phone, call best friend and start gossiping
Dice or break up meat into small pieces
Heat frying pan and add the teaspoon of bacon grease
cookOnce the grease is hot, add the meat and brown it.
Add white rice and continue to brown it
Add some soy sauce
Remember to pick up the phone after you hear about a friend's unexpected pregnancy
Stir in a half-cup of the frozen veggies
Cook for 2 more minutes, then turn off the heat and cover the pan
serveTurn TV on to UPN
Be sure to double up on the paper plates (triple if you are using store brand)
Drink reccomendation: Iced tea from the Chinese take-out
Enjoy
Introducing....
CamKaraoke.
What happens when you throw on your favorite tune, your web cam and
?
Magic
Beware the power of music people....
Tug-O-Redd
Stop me if you've heard this one before:
- Grandma wants me to spend thanksgiving with her (uses guilt as her weapon of choice).
- Grandpa wants me to spend thanksgiving with him (the old "we haven't seen you in awhile...").
- Mom would love to see me (but has to chose either Thanksgiving or Christmas - not both).
- I want to hang out with friends during the holidays (and I would welcome the break).
Trying to balance time over the holidays can be a real bitch. Trying to see everyone just isn't going to happen so it really feels like a Tug-O-War...I'm being pulled in multiple directions.
I had to make some decisions and not everyone will be happy about them. I'm gonna spend Thxgiving with Grandpa, then hang out with friends for the weekend. I'll see mom for Christmas and grandma should be there by then. Yeah, Grandma's not too pleased because she wanted us to spend thanksgiving together. I understand that, but I also feel she should see things from my point of view..
As you start to deal with your holiday dilemmas and tough decisions, just know we all go through it. Family gives us all a hard time. It's because they love to torture us.
