Sunday, May 14, 2006

A Blog for Mama

AKA: Blurry memories from a twisted mind


It's amazing how much of us is formed in those early years. It seems like only yesterday we were zooming around town in a beat up Nova. I think back on what a sponge I was...how I was always wanting to get into new things. You nurtured my curiousity. Remember when you made the best steak ever (when we weren't supposed to be eating meat)? To this day, no steak has EVER compared to those few forbidden morsels of chuck round.

I remember when you gave me a $100 bill and sent me to the supermarket on the corner. I felt amazing because I had so much money in the secret pocket of my Kangaroo sneakers. I felt so special I smiled all the way to the store and back...and gave you your correct change.

We played video games together. Did you let me win at River Raid or was I just that good? The things we did together made me feel so loved. Even if it was just taking the subway. The sliding platform at Union Square were scary and awe-inspiring at the same time. I used to have bad dreams about getting swept off the platform when the train sped into the station. But I knew I was safe because you had my hand.

You took me with you when we moved. I felt so special...like I won a contest and got to move to the new apartment with mommy. Remember my Sesame Street record player? It had Big Bird's greatest hits like "Sign (your a friend of mine)" and "I've got 2 eyes." Ooooooh...good stuff. That's probably why I DJ now...beacuse of you.

The same woman who took me to a Star Trek convention(where I picked up my 1st comic book). I still read them today.

The VIC 20 computer...I became an IT guy. Then we came home and our place was broken into. They took my calculator! That was all I cared about. The Bastards!!

You had a house party and made tapes. I still have them and sometimes listen in my car. Your friend left his turntables at our place and I couldn't stop playing with them. I just think back on all the good times we had, even when things weren't always great: Mets 1986 playoffs, Dancing to "Object of my Desire", learning to drive (OK...maybe not so much fun), Picasso, Benson, summer school, BBR, Boy's Club, L.E.S.C.S, Mattie, Magneto, MENSA, Visiting you at work, not getting a bike,...

I think back on all that you've taught and shown me...by your actions, by your persistence, by simply being.

You've taught me to follow my path.
You've shown me unconditional love.
You made me the man I am today.


So on those days when life's twists and turns change and distort the lens through which I see the world, I can always reflect back on you and your love and those places and times when everything was right and I was at peace.

I wanted you to know that.

I love you